I Will Sleep Again
by JustInunotaisho
Summary: Vincent fears what he may do to others if Chaos breaks free. Before he returns to the Mansion, he bumps into a friend in Nibelheim. [Pre AC] [Christmas fanfic] [Oneshot] And no, this isn't a Tifacent. It's more of a brothersister thing, k? K. RxR


Disclaimer: Uh, SquareEnix is still sending me emphatic refusals, so I guess my fifty cent offer didn't quite cut it. I don't own FFVII.

I Will Sleep Again.

Vast, glittering snowfields shone beneath a shrouded sun. A desert of winter, with ocean to the south and monstrous glacier filled mountains to the north, stretched all around the solitary figure clad in red and black.

Vincent Valentine could feel the frigid air all around him but merely as any man would feel a breeze. He ignored it, trudging through the deep snow, his tattered red cloak and black hair whipping in the wind. Against the ruby of his eyes, the snowfields were reflected, adding an ominous glint to their fiery depths. Out in this wilderness, Vincent felt as though he was a beast unchained.

Beast… Over the sound of the wind, the former Turk could hear the slow beating of his heart. It had a faint undertone that whispered the same name over and over again to his mind. _Chaos…Chaos…Chaos…_ His metal claws pressed against his chest, struggling to silence the voice. The frozen metal chilled his skin through the leather, stilling the words. For a while, at least.

It had been two weeks since Chaos had last appeared, two weeks since Sephiroth had been defeated, two weeks since Meteor had been destroyed. Unbidden, the memory of flashed into his mind.

_"Vincent!" Cloud blocked a blow from Sephiroth's wing with his sword. He glanced back at the sprawled body of the ex-Turk, and then forced himself back to the fight at hand._

"Vincent!" With his name upon her lips, Tifa called upon her lightning materia and a bolt opened a gash on Sephiroth's chest. Unfazed, the one-winged angel set a shaft of blackness toward her. Cloud managed to leap in front of her, blocking it with Big Guard.

_Vincent opened his eyes and felt himself rise to his feet, his mind no longer controlling his actions. A fierce rage and feeling of freedom lancing through his body as Chaos's wings burst from his shoulders and unfurled. Though he still saw his own metal arm and body, Vincent knew that all others would see the reptilian monster that was Chaos. That was he. Chaos/Vincent gave a roar that shook the crater's sides, drawing his saber and taking to the air._

_Chaos was free once more. Sephiroth would pay._

A howl of challenge startled him out of his thoughts. A large tawny form leaped out of the snow in front of him, snarling. Gleaming silver and black in the dull sunlight, the Cerberus cleared his holster and barked once in defiance. The snow dog yelped, its chest spurting blood as it fell to the ground in front of him. Slowly, Vincent lowered the triple-barreled gun, waiting for the smoke to dissipate. His ears twitched, listening for other predators. All he heard was the heartbeat once more. _Chaos…Chaos…Chaos…_ The sight of the blood staining the pure white snow had drawn it.

Vincent stepped over the carcass. It couldn't go on like this. His decision was reinforced. He would sleep once more. With Sephiroth gone and the world struggling to heal, a monster like him would only be a menace. When he arrived at Nibelheim, he would return to the abandoned mansion on the edge of town and continue his solitude.

The thought of what his companions might think brought a faint smile to his lips. Yuffie, the young ninja, might complain that she didn't get a chance to steal his materia before he left. Cloud wouldn't say anything at all, too caught up in his own problems. Cid and Barrett, being Cid and Barrett, would curse his name to high heaven because Tifa and Yuffie were complaining about how Vincent was never around.

Still, it was for their protection. Everyday was a battle to contain Chaos, one fight that he and he alone could carry on. They would simply have to understand that.

As evening approached, he could see the lights of Nibelheim in the distance.

Night had fallen and snow had begun to fall when Vincent entered the town. The few inhabitants out on the streets were bundled up and in a hurry to complete their errands and return to the warm indoors. Unnoticed, Vincent padded along the sidewalk.

Nearing an alleyway by the inn, Vincent decided to take a shortcut to the mansion. As he entered the darkened alleyway, the kitchen door suddenly banged open in front of him. Blinded by the light, Vincent felt someone bump into him and start to fall back. Out of reflex, he reached out and caught them. "I'm so sorry - …" the person began to say, then stopped mid-sentence.

As Vincents eyes adjusted to the light, he recognized the women he was grasping the shoulders of, her long brown hair and depthless bronze eyes instantly bringing her name to mind. Gently, he released her. "I apologize, Miss Lockhart," he replied.

Tifa stared up at him, a smile blossoming on her face. "Vincent?" she breathed, looking up at him. "Vincent!" She threw her arms about him, laughing with delight.

The ex-Turk put his right hand around her awkwardly, not wanting to make her cold with the icy metal of his left. "What brings you to Nibelheim, Miss Lockhart?" he asked.

Chuckling, she gave him a mock-stern look. "How many times have I told you to call me Tifa?"

"Plenty, Miss Lockhart."

"You're impossible, Vincent," she grumbled. Then, laughing again, she placed her hands on his shoulders, standing on tiptoe to give him a kiss on the cheek. She shivered. "You're also freezing! Come inside!" she ordered, taking him by the hand.

Vincent allowed himself to be dragged inside the kitchen and into the empty bar. He hadn't realized how cold he was until the warmth of her lips on his cheek thawed the ice from his facial muscles. Tifa pushed him into a chair by the fire, dropping a blanket around his shoulders, then busied herself behind the bar, chattering away. "I thought I'd come back here and get a few things before I went back to the bar in Midgar. Then, I just found it difficult to leave, really. Nurn, the innkeeper, was a friend of my mother and wondered if I'd mind the place over Christmas while he went to Rocket Town to visit relatives."

"I forgot that it is Christmas Eve," murmured Vincent, accepting the steaming mug of hot cocoa Tifa handed to him.

She nodded, sitting in the chair close by. "I'd forgotten I was going to be alone this Christmas, what with Barrett, Marlene, and Cloud in Midgar." Looking over at him, the ex-member of AVALANCH smiled. "I'm glad I run into you out there. Will you be staying the night?"

"I…am not sure." Vincent stared into his mug. "I'm sure that you are full up during this time."

"Oh, bursting at the seams, we are," said Tifa gravely, gesturing at the empty room around them. "However, we might have a few rooms left…" She pulled a fistful of keys from her skirt pocket and dumped them into his lap. "Take your pick, on the house."

"No," replied Vincent, sorting through the keys and picking one at random. "I will pay."

"Vincent, having a friend over the holidays is payment enough." Tifa stood up and clapped her hands together. "Now, are you hungry? I'm going to have some dinner, if you'd like to join me." She took his shrug as an affirmative and disappeared into the kitchen.

Not wanting to be idle, Vincent arose and walked behind the bar, pulling out plates and silverware. He set them on the stone counter and began to wipe off the surface with a rag. The smell of roasting turkey wafted from the kitchen. To his surprise, a sense of peace fell over him. _Well, at least this might afford me some pleasant dreams in my sleep,_ he mused, as Tifa brought out a platter of sliced turkey and a bowl of stuffing.

Dinner was a quiet affair, Tifa doing most of the talking, Knowing the ex-Turk's liking for privacy, she refrained from asking him questions; Vincent was grateful. For once, Vincent enjoyed Tifa's cooking without Cid and Yuffie fighting over the last sausages. Dessert was a scrumptious pumpkin pie; Vincent never tasted a better one and said as much.

Surprised at the unexpected compliment from the normally taciturn ex-Turk, Tifa blushed and mumbled something about it being her mother's recipe. Vincent spared her further embarrassment by standing up. "I believe I shall retire."

"All right." Tifa smiled tiredly. "Hey, Vincent?"

He turned and looked at her, his red eyes questioning.

"Thanks for coming."

Vincent nodded once and went upstairs, leaving her alone at the bar.

Vincent had not been asleep for more than three hours when he was awakened by a noise. He opened his eyes to the darkness, his senses alert. Outside, the wind blew, jarring the window. It was not that, however, which had awakened him.

The sound came again, a muffled cry. In an instant, the ex-Turk threw back the covers and dressed, drawing his Cerberus. No sound came from his pointed metal boots as he crept down the stairs into the bar.

The fire had died to embers, leaving the room full of shadows and near darkness. Still, Vincent made out the shape of Tifa, sitting at the bar, head buried in her arms, crying and shivering in her sleep. Holstering his gun, he stole over to her. "Miss Lockhart?" he whispered.

Tifa picked up her head and looked at him. In the faint light, he could see that her eyes held the empty look of sleepwalkers. "Cloud?" Her voice was anxious.

"No. It is Vincent."

"Oh." For a moment, Tifa was silent. "Did you see it? What happened to Cloud?" she inquired.

"Tell me."

Tifa let out a sob, another tear coursing down her soft cheek. "He was in the Ancient City, at the pool's edge, watching Aeris's body sink into the depths. All of a sudden, he started screaming, 'I did this! I did this!' Over and over again. At last, he stepped into water, going in further and further until he was under the surface. I couldn't stop him, even as he drowned himself, sinking deeper until I lost sight of him." She began to weep again.

"It was a simple dream, Miss Lockhart." Vincent clenched his metal claw, her sadness causing his heartbeat to whisper again. _Chaos…Chaos…Chaos…_ "Cloud will never do such a thing while you and Barrett and the rest are there for him. Friendship and family will keep him strong. Besides," here, Vincent's mouth quirked slightly. "If all else fails, a Beat Rush to his spiky head will expel any suicidal ambitions."

He was gratified to see her smile through her tears. Tifa sighed, laying her head on her arms once more, intending to sleep down here. Vincent hesitated. Then, gently, ever so tenderly, he slid his real right arm under her knees, leaned her back against his metal arm and picked her up. Her head was nestled against his shoulder, her breath warm against the side of his face.

Hesitating again at the top of the stairs, he shrugged and carried her into his room, depositing her into his already warm bed. Vincent took off her boots and pulled the blankets up to her chin. Tifa murmured in her sleep, snuggling into the hollow that his body left.

For the rest of the night, Vincent sat on the windowsill, looking out at the blizzard and keeping watch.

Tifa awoke in a bed that smelled faintly of…metal? Sitting up, she squinted in the morning light shafting in from the window. On the sill, she recognized the blanket she had given Vincent. All at once, it all came back: her falling asleep at the bar, the nightmare, and then, Vincent's voice from a distance, comforting her.

_Did he really give up his bed so I could sleep?_ wondered Tifa, wandering over to the windowsill and picking up the blanket. It was still warm. _Not only did he give up his bed, but he slept on the sill to watch over me. That twerp!_ She laughed, imagining the stone-faced man's reaction to being called a "twerp."

Going downstairs, she was surprised to see no sign of the red-cloaked man. A nagging thought started to bug her as she brought some cinnamon rolls from the freezer and put them into the oven to heat. All at once, it hit her. Something his voice had said last night came back. _"Cloud will never do such a thing while you and Barrett and the rest are there for him." _Vincent spoke as though he would not be there himself…

Vincent stared up at the Shinra Mansion, his memories of the gloomy place fresh in his mind. Over twenty years he had spent within its bowels, slumbering to punish himself. His Lucretia, his beautiful Lucretia, he was unable to save her and so slept, casting years away in seclusion.

Now, he would sleep to save others from Chaos. The people he protected would wonder where he had gone for a while, but then forget. That was how it should be. No more threat of one they trusted turning upon them.

Chaos would not become another Sephiroth.

With that promise set in his mind, Vincent reached out to open the gate, when from behind him, a voice shouted, "Vincent!" He turned to see Tifa come running up in her short skirt, boots, and tank top regardless of the foot deep snow. Fighting to regain her breath, she managed to gasp out, "Where…you…going?"

"Sephiroth is dead, as is Hojo," stated Vincent in a matter of fact tone. "I will return to my sleep."

"Why?" demanded Tifa, crossing her arms.

"I just told you. They are dead. My work is done."

"So? You can't just go back into hiding!" Tifa shivered against the cold. "Look, come back to the inn. There's got to be something you could do as opposed to this. It's stupid to just waste away, Vincent." She hesitated, then asked softly. "Is it because of Lucretia?"

Vincent froze. Tifa thought she had gone too far. His red eyes met hers, a severe pain within them. "No," he replied. "I am going to sleep to protect others. There may come a time when Chaos will break free of my control. I cannot risk hurting you or any of the others."

Exasperated, Tifa put her hands on her hips, glaring up at him. "Who was it told me, 'Family and friendship keeps people strong?'" she retorted. With one step, she was right up in front of him. Vincent felt the muzzle of the Cerberus dig into his throat. He stared down into her bronze eyes, unafraid. It seemed an eternity they stood there, eyes locked in a contest of wills, his hands dangling at his sides, one of hers holding the silver and black gun to his neck. A cold breeze wafted his hair so that it tickled her face; she didn't move, merely growling, "Wouldn't this be quicker, Vincent? You wouldn't have so long to wait to waste your life in fear."

Deliberately, Vincent's gaze slid over to the mansion. As he did, he could hear Chaos murmuring with his heartbeat. He looked back at Tifa, the girl beginning to shiver in the snow. Strange. Chaos was silent. A memory of Yuffie and Nanaki arguing flitted into his mind. His heartbeat did not speak. Another vision. One of Aeris and Barrett chatting. Another. Cid turning the air blue with cigarette smoke and muffled curses as he repaired the _Highwind_. A fourth. More and more. His friends laughing, talking, fighting… He closed his eyes, straining to hear Chaos in his heartbeat. Nothing.

"We're here for you, Vincent."

A solitary tear squeezed itself from Vincent's eye as he looked at the real vision before him, a beautiful, caring friend whose gaze softened as the tear traced itself down the barrels of the gun and onto her leather glove. Tifa lowered the Cerberus and put it back in his holster. Before she could turn away, strong arms went around her.

Vincent clasped her slight form to his own tightly, breathing in the scent of warmth and cinnamon buns. Tifa returned his embrace, marveling at the warmth radiating from him as opposed to the chill he had possessed last night. They broke apart at last, Vincent wrapping his cloak around her.

As they returned to the inn, Vincent grasped her hand. "Thank you, Tifa," he whispered.


End file.
